Bridal/Wedding Registry Etiquette

When I take on a new couple as my clients, I provide them with my “Wedding Idea Kit”. It’s a free packet full of useful articles, tips and ideas that are affordable and attainable. One tip I knew I had to include is about Bridal/Wedding Registry Etiquette.  Why? Because so many couples don’t realize there’s more to creating a dream registry than just wandering through your favorite stores with a scanner. While it is your big day, it’s important to consider your guests while putting your registry together. Here are some things you need to remember. Follow my guide to avoid committing any horrible offenses.

How to let your guests know where you’re registered.

Word of mouth is the best way let everyone know about your registry. Let your parents and all members of your wedding party know you’re registered and where so they can pass the information on when asked. The newest trend is having your store registries listed on your wedding website. You also can include a link to your wedding web page in your invites.

And remember that if people ask YOU where you’re registered or what you like as a gift- it’s okay for you to tell them the name of the stores.

Register for Gifts in a Variety of Price Ranges

One of the worst things a couple can do is make their registry seem as if there is an “appropriate” price for a wedding gift – especially if this price is a quite large. Not all your guest will have the ability to give an expensive gift. The best thing to do is make sure there’s a range of prices represented on your registry, and make sure there are plenty of gifts in the lower ranges, in case the lower priced gifts run out. Doing this keeps your requests for gifts polite and gracious.

It’s also a good idea to take a peek at your registry as your wedding day approaches, and if the lower price gifts have mostly been purchased, then register for some more. Don't worry about registering for too many gifts.  There’s no such thing!! The important thing is to give guest the options to purchase something you asked for that’s not costly.

You may be wondering at this point if it’s rude to register for expensive gifts?  Not at all.  Some of your guests will want to buy expensive gifts, and other guests will go in together to purchase big ticket items, Just make sure these gifts aren’t the only choices.

Register for Gifts at More Than One Store

It’s generally a good idea to register at more than one location.  I say a minimum of two and my preference and what I tell my couples are three.  A pricey store and a less pricey store is a common choice. When choosing stores, think accessibility: you want to make sure your guest will have the ability to shop at these stores. So if you to register at your local house ware store make sure you also register at a national chain for out-of-town guests. The great option now is that most stores are available online, but keep in mind that some of your guest (especially elderly ones) won’t shop online and that online purchases usually include a shipping charge that many guest would just soon avoid.

Don’t Publicize Your Registry

Never mention your registries on you wedding invitations. In the wedding industry this is deemed taboo and absolutely rude.  Again it’s more appropriate via word of mouth and/or via your wedding website.  It is okay however to provide a link to your website (with registry info page) on your invites. Remember if people want to know where you’re registered, they’ll ask you or someone close to you.

Be Gracious About All Your Gifts

As you begin to open your gifts, there will probably come a point when you’ll roll your eyes and wonder why someone didn’t have the sense to use your wedding registry and instead purchase you something, you didn’t want nor need and instead purchase something they wanted you to have. More traditional guests (often older family members) may also have their own ideas about what makes an appropriate wedding gift. Trust me, it’s going to happen. Just remember the gift giver is ultimately in charge of what you receive and your job is to simply write a thank you. You must keep things in perspective and remember to be grateful for the people in your life and for their act of kindness (And keep the receipt!)

Don’t Ask for “No Gifts” or “Cash Only”

Though asking for no gifts may feel like a thoughtful gesture, many guests actually want to give you a gift. It’s a way for them to share in your celebration and congratulate you on your special day, and it’s not fair to take this option away from them. If you’re really averse to gifts, you can always ask guests to make a charitable donation in your name to a favorite cause. It’s also inappropriate to request monetary gifts on your invite. Consider registering for gift certificates, or ask your parents and bridal party to spread the word that you’d prefer cash. Either way, it’s important to register for at least a few gifts so that guests who want to give a traditional present have the option.

New Bridal/Wedding Registry Trends

Charity Registry: Yes, your wedding day is all about you and your partner, but why not share the spotlight with your favorite cause? Set up a charitable gift registry with an organization like the I Do Foundation, which will guide guests through the process of contributing to your chosen organization. Try to avoid political or highly controversial causes, or register for more traditional gifts with one of the foundation’s partner retailers, which will contribute a portion of your guests’ purchases to your chosen charity at no additional cost. Remember the charitable organization will send the gift giver a thank you letter and a tax receipt; however it is still the responsibility of the bride and groom to send a thank you note as well.

Honeymoon Registry: This type of registry allows guests to contribute to a couple’s honeymoon trip fund. They are easy to create on different wedding websites, and are also available through many travel companies and agencies. The bride and groom should work with a reputable company that will alert them to each cash gift (including the name of the gift giver), and one that will manage the honeymoon plans efficiently.

 Don’t expect all guests to choose this gift option. Some will be more comfortable selecting a traditional gift, or giving cash. A honeymoon registry is an acceptable choice, but it’s probably safest to give guests alternate choices -- so it’s a good idea to still register for some traditional items, too.

Alternative Retailer

Home improvement suppliers, sporting goods and furniture stores are all appropriate and interesting choices for gift registries. Most couples who choose this type are those who don’t have established households and moving into their new home together once married.

So as you can see there are definitely some “Do’s and “Don’ts” of Bridal/Wedding Registries. I hope you find this information very helpful while in the planning stages of your wedding.

Happy Planning

DeVonda

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